thestoryweaver: baccano: rachel (Default)
[personal profile] thestoryweaver
Title: Volte-Face
Rating: R
Fandom: Shin Shirayuki Hime Densetsu Pretear
Pairing: Hayate x Awayuki Himeno
Genre: Angst
Notes: Told in Hayate's POV. This would be my take on "what if Himeno died?" in the last episode of the anime series. Somewhat AU, because I'm going to twist the details of her death. 

You're the stupidest person I've ever known.

You've always believed in these ideas of love and justice. You always risked your life countless of times to save the ones you love, as well as others you don't know.

You think you're already a hero in their eyes? You're wrong.

You saved the world, yes, but that's it.

There is no monument to honor your so-called sacrifice. There is nothing to honor your memory.


You smiled up at me, the blood dripping down your mouth. "Ha...Hayate. It's...over."

I knelt down beside you, not too near, trying not to look at the thorn still pierced through your stomach. Blood gushed out freely from the wound and all I could do was to stare at it.

I felt numb. My mind was a total blank. I didn't know what to do. I was speechless.

"Ha...yate..." You looked at me with those beautiful carnation eyes I've admired for so long. "Ha...ya...te..." You whispered, calling my name again. Your hand clutched my wrist in desperation, and confessed to me the awful truth I've known - your greatest fear...the reason why you didn't accept being the Pretear. "I...I'm afraid..."

The look in your face haunted me.

Weariness, resignation and fear.

You weren't as brave as you pretended to be.

"I...don't...want...to...to...to..."

Die... I finished the sentence in my head.

You closed your eyes, and your hold on my wrist slackened. You sighed, breathing for the last time.

I didn't get the chance to ask you why you saved me.



I am the Knight of the Wind. I am the leader. I was supposed to protect you, for you are the Pretear.

But you have to make me look like a fool. Why did you have to step in front of me and take for yourself the attack instead?

I would have welcomed death freely, Tulip Head. I was prepared for it. But you weren't.

But...maybe I was wrong. I also don't want to die.

Maybe it's too late to save you, but at least I can justify your actions and mine. After all, you did save the world.

Yes, I was selfish. It was either you or me.

Besides, you were reckless. I told you not to come nearer when I was doing battle with Saihi, but you were so stubborn. You ranted about how being stupid I am to fight the enemy by myself, and you said you needed me to defeat the enemy.

I did need you, Himeno, but not in the way you thought.

You were so willing to give up your life for the ones you hold dear. I was only doing a duty to serve you.

It's not like I was willing to die for you as well.


Sasame told me that you loved me, that's why you died for me. He also told me that I was feeling this way because I love you.

Love? I never loved you, Himeno. I never did.

I hate you.

I never liked you. Your screeches make me deaf. You think you're strong already when you defeat a mayouchuu. And you're definitely not beautiful like the tulips in your stepmother's garden. I didn't call you "Tulip Head" to flatter you; it was an insult.

You're ugly, you're rude, and you're stupid.

You're not my angel.


Damn you, Himeno, damn you.

Why do you torture me so?

You're now dead, and I'm still alive.

Damn you. Don't expect me to grieve for you. You mean nothing to me.

I hate you so much.

I hope you rot in hell.
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March 2014

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